In the last ten years neuroscientists have learned more about storytelling than we’ve known since our ancestors drew story pictures on cave walls. We know what stories work, how they work and we can prove it. As the House of Cards actor Kevin Spacey once told an audience of marketing leaders, “We know how this [marketing] works; story is everything.”
We do know how this works. When someone tells you a compelling story with an emotional trigger (conflict, tension, resolution), it releases a rush of chemicals: cortisol that makes you pay attention, oxytocin that causes you to feel empathy with the characters, and dopamine which makes you feel good when the story has a happy ending.
In the last ten years neuroscientists have learned more about storytelling than we’ve known since our ancestors drew story pictures on cave walls. We know what stories work, how they work and we can prove it. As the House of Cards actor Kevin Spacey once told an audience of marketing leaders, “We know how this [marketing] works; story is everything.”
We do know how this works. When someone tells you a compelling story with an emotional trigger (conflict, tension, resolution), it releases a rush of chemicals: cortisol that makes you pay attention, oxytocin that causes you to feel empathy with the characters, and dopamine which makes you feel good when the story has a happy ending.
In business many of the inspiring leaders of our time are outstanding storytellers : Richard Branson, Sheryl Sandberg, Bill Gates, Elon Musk and others. If we think back in recent history, all of these people have ideas and they know that the only way to get others to buy into those ideas is to package them in an attractive way. Story is the tool by which they share their ideas effectively.
We’ve known for years that storytellers are attractive in business. They rise further in their careers and are more effective in engaging teams, building brands, and growing sales. Today we’re learning that storytellers might have another advantage, too. Storytellers more attractive to the opposite sex.
A new study published in the Journal of Personal Responsibility shows that “women find men who are good storytellers more appealing.” The research is detailed in this Wall Street Journal article. The research was made up of three separate studies intended to measure whether storytelling in conversation made people more attractive. The studies showed that a “good” storyteller told stories that were concise and compelling while a less desirable storyteller “rambled and used dull language.” Interestingly, the traits of a good storyteller in the studies are exactly the qualities that a good business communicator shares. When is the last time you were engaged by a rambling and dull leader? It doesn’t happen.
All three studies reached the same conclusion: “Women rated men who were good storytellers as more attractive and desirable as long-term partners.”
The psychologists in the study believe that a storyteller “shows he knows how to connect, to share emotions, and to be vulnerable.” Yes, it’s quite possible that the psychologists are right precisely because of the neuroscience done in the last ten years on storytelling. If we know that stories trigger a rush of deep emotional connection as I mentioned earlier, then it wouldn’t be surprising that the same connection happens between two people in any scenario—courtship or business.
The Wall Street Journal article on storytelling concludes on a strong point. It reminds readers that relationships grow stale over time. Emotionally bonding conversations are replaced with “How was your day, honey?” Psychologists quoted in the article say it’s important to keep telling each other stories. This is a good reminder for leaders in business, too. Companies I’ve studied and covered in my column such as Apple, Virgin, Southwest Airlines, The Ritz-Carlton, KPMG, Unilever and others are storytelling brands. Leaders and managers are encouraged to tell stories constantly about how their products and services have made life better for their customers. Stories bring the brands’ mission to life in a way no bulleted PowerPoint list ever can.
According to the Wall Street Journal, “Good storytellers are happier in life and love.” Tell stories; be happy.